Week 44 - June 6, 2016

From: Jordan Mark Merrill <merrill.j@myldsmail.net>
Sent: Sunday, June 5, 2016 10:42 PM
To: Lauri Merrill
Subject: That moment when you can fart safely..:)

Um well I’m having another "I want to relax on my p-day" type of deal right now. So I’ll type what I feel like I want to this time. :) But you remember my comp in the MTC, Elder Downing? He’s in the office now as the supply elder, cool right?! Also, now Elder Baker is in my zone so we talked and we figured out each American in our batch is either a DL, ZL, or office elder, even cooler right?!? So maybe I’ll get to my email heading. "The moment when you can fart safely” is a pretty good description of my week. On Friday we went to Pio Duran, my first time being in that area and we ate some adobo, normal food. Fast, cheap, and delicious. So on the jeepny ride home its about 2 hours and my tummy started feeling queasy so I just blew it off. Then when we got home we both were feeling pretty crappy. Kind of the feeling of eating only candy then being tired so it wasn’t too much. That night we had a big branch FHE planned at a member’s house so as we were walking I was like dying from my stomach from the pain. We got there and kind of just hung out until everyone shows up. I was sitting in a chair next to the rail then I look back and see like 10 or 15 members in a group walk up and right as they get to the porch I lean over the side and basically throw up the water/rice/adobo/apple in the mass of about Niagara Falls. It sucked straight up. They all just pause and stare at me. I lean up, look at them, then lean over again and hurl again, then again, then again. At this time, I’m pretty sure my stomach was about the size of a raisin so nothing came up. I sat back down and their like “Uh Elder Merrill, are you okay? So I said yup. :) Then time went on and I was way thirsty so I drank a ton of water which was either a good or a bad idea. During the nice/quiet/spirit-filled lesson given by my comp I stand up, go to a banana tree and just blow chunks again, again, and again. And you know when your throwing up you can’t really control your other body parts? So… :) Nah I didn’t poop my pants if that’s what you were thinking! But I really did have to use the bathroom. So I waited until I threw up it all then went to the CR which was a little toilet in the forest in the dark with 4 curtains covering about the waist down. So then I did my business lasting about 1 hour in the forest. :) To make a long story short, my farts weren’t really safe after that, even until today I’m still a little worried cause my gut still feels like a crap but I think it was about yesterday where I farted successfully without having to buy some more bleach. ;) Other than that my week has been normal. We had Ligao District Conference where President Guanzon and Sister Guanzon came and spoke then an Area of the Seventy came and it was really neat to hear them. President Guanzon goes home this month so he’s saying bye to all the areas but he’s basically the coolest guy I’ve ever met. EVERY thing he says helps me in some way. So I’m going to miss the guy. But our new one will be chill and he’s American too. :) Oh, we had a member from our area get offered to do a short term, here in our mission and he accepted it and was out for about 5 days until he got sent home because he didn’t tell his dad...?... C’mon dude, do you expect to be gone for three months and have your dad not ask where you at? He’s cool though. So in other news, we still don’t have water, the motor guy that used to deliver to us, his motor broke so we haven’t had water delivered to us for a while and it wasn’t the best when you basically lived on the toilet and have to be sparing with the water. ;( It’s still hot but it’s raining like every day so that new. Every night there’s a sick lightning storm in what seems like every area but ours which I’m chill with because I don’t want to get soaked. With our missionary work, a cool thing is we’ve activated a sister that hasn’t been to church in ages and now she’s more than active, she participates in all activities and is super cool. Maybe I’ll tell you her story another time. But the good thing is she’s back :) and it was actually a big part due to her friends helping her, so never forget that it’s not just missionaries doing the work but members have a HUGE part in the work too. Whew! Every time I say it’s going to be a short email, but I never really so. :) Well, I love ya all! Don’t forget to say your payers, read the scriptures, and maxis kayo!:) Love ya!!

**Elder Merrill**

PS Sounds like you’re having a blast in Island Park. :) You know what? I want to go straight to the cabin when I get back. :) Plus, when you said everyone made you want the Ouija movie, I’ve heard so many stories of stupid missionaries doing stuff like that and crazy stuff happens to them. Freak, most of the stories are coming from our apartment!! We always get into the deep doctrine talks then freak ourselves out ha-ha its great. :) And tell dad the ugly fish make some of the fish here look like models:)

Thanks to Elder Baker and his mom for sharing this pic with us!